Friday December 18, 2015
This week I promised to talk about HOW you can build that extraordinary relationship. And because all of us can relate to dating, I have a ‘dating equivalent’ example for each point to help illustrate. Plus, it’s fun ;)
As a quick recap: the secret to any great relationship is when you go to give, not to get. Here’s how you can do that in your business:
How To GIVE #1
View your business as a vehicle to deliver your gifts to the world. This means ALL of your business, NOT just coaching. It means your marketing, PR, relationship building and who are you BEING everyday in your business in general (and don’t forget you are ‘courting’ your business).
Dating equivalent: Don’t be one version of yourself when you are with your date and then someone else later. Just be you, all the time.
How To GIVE #2
Detach emotionally from your business. When what you perceive as bad things happening in your business (ex: FB ads not converting well, no one shows up for a webinar, someone decided not to coach with you, etc.), don’t make it about you, personally. Put on your business owner hat and remember that some things will work and some thing won’t. You have to try different things to see what will work better. Keep it that simple.
Dating equivalent: When he is going out on a boys night, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to spend time with you, it means he is going out on a boys night. That’s it. He has a full life. That is good.
How To GIVE #3
Care about your community and give without expectation. Think about this: Have you ever given someone a gift because you saw it for them and thought they would love it? And because they were not expecting it weren’t they so delightfully surprised and grateful? Didn’t that feel good? Wasn’t it the most amazing experience to give for no reason? Bring that feeling back to your business.
Talk to people and actually help them (this may mean things such as free calls, or support in a Facebook group or doing webinars with nothing to sell). Whatever you do, do it with all your heart because nothing is more powerful than an authentic coach standing in their power. As people watch you give without expectation, they will feel your authentic nature and want to give to you.
Dating equivalent: Go above and beyond in a way that fills you both up. Think: unexpected surprises just because, watching the game because it is important to him or going to his favourite book store for 2 hours together because it makes him so happy.
How To GIVE #4
Be smart about your business. Going to give isn’t about burning yourself out. It’s about giving from a space where the glass is full. Make sure you take time for self care and don’t run rampant giving away your time. Be smart and selective about it. Create healthy boundaries and stick to them.
Dating Equivalent: Have your own interests and outside activities/friends. Be your own person and keep with the things that make you, you. Don’t date just anyone, only people who are worthy of your time.
How To GIVE #5
Do the inner work. When you grow your business you are really growing yourself. Don’t fool yourself into thinking if you learn more marketing tricks it will get better. You will actually get more frustrated because you know more about business, yet you will still get the same dismal results. True business growth = personal growth. For your outer world to shift, your inner world must shift first.
Dating Equivalent: If you keep dating the same jerk with a different face it’s because you haven’t done the inner work to believe you are worthy of someone who treats you properly. Take time to be single and love yourself first. Then you will attract someone who respects you because you respect you.
Hopefully these 5 ways to give to your business inspires you to go back to giving in a BIG way (just in time for the New Year!).
I'd love to hear your feedback. Do one of these stick out for you? What will you focus on improving?